Pretty in Pink Betta Emerges, Classification Confuses Indiana Legislature
Self-described “fish-a-holic” William Falter of Fishers, Indiana, announced today that his crossbreeding program to create designer Betta fish had been a success.
Described as a “Pretty in Pink” Plakat Betta, a short-tailed variety of the fish, features a deep black base with hot pink or fuchsia accents covering 60% of the body. Falter says he also has several others, including a crowntail and half-moon variant, in the works, and was planning on opening his new online shop called Freakshow Fish.
However, due to recent legislature in Falter's own state, his application to secure the necessary licensing that would allow him to market his fabulous aquacultured creation was met with much scrutiny and dismay.
I made it to the local licensing office just before closing time. I handed the clerk the forms for my aquaculture license, which would allow me to sell aquatic livestock commercially. The clerk immediately stood up, pointed to the door, and in a booming voice, told me to get out – that my kind was not welcome here. Upon leaving, I couldn't help but notice a growing mob with torches and pitchforks gathering in the side alley adjacent to the licensing office.
– William Falter
Falter, a graduate student at Indiana University, majoring in biology with a minor in molecular genetics. He has spent the past 3 years dedicated to isolating, rearranging, and splicing the genes of aquatic livestock. Just a couple years ago, Falter's work was first discovered when photos his first successful attempt of gene splicing surfaced depicting what appears to be a fish with the head of a pig.
It may be some time before Falter is able to secure the appropriate licensing required by his local government in order to distribute his hot pink and black beauties, but the moment he does, we will let you know.
